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gjldihdgk

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gjldihdgk's favorite FMLs

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she looool had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82306) - you deserved it (25295)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I walkd in on my son and is friand comparing tara panis sizas . Tay'ra 6 . FML

#20415295
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36223) - you deserved it (5111)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY I RECEIVED MAH SOCCER TEAM JACKET THAT I ORDERED A MONTH AGO. TRYING TO SAVE MONEY I'D SELECTED THE ( NO NAME ) OPTION TO AVOID AN EXTRA $20 EMBROIDERING FEE. MY JACKET NOW HAS ( NO NAME ) SPELLED OUT ON THE SIDE OF IT AND I WAS CHARGED THE EXTRA $20 DOLLARS AFTER ALL. FML

#20415162
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39267) - you deserved it (7211)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, Bacausa My Boyfriand Drivas A 2-saatad Sports Car, I Had To Awkwardly Sit On His Brothar's Lap As Wa Drova To Tha Stora . I Soon Falt A Poking Sansation Through His Pants, Just A Faw Minutas Bafora Wa Hit A Bumpy Road . Maga FML

#20414298
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48898) - you deserved it (6186)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it was first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes an vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They r still laughing. mega FML

#20413213
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37494) - you deserved it (4298)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I looked at mah neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32974) - you deserved it (17235)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, I Decided To Treat Myself To A Pedicure. The Pedicurist Began Examining Mah Feet, Then Called His Coworkers Over To Demonstrate How To Deal With "excessively Crusty" Feet. FML

#20407705
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (16328)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -

Today , I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it , but he never seemed to laugh. Finally , the door opened and out came a lady in aheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband.

#20407423
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9027) - you deserved it (59913)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today... the girl I dumped three yeres ago because she wouldn't take mah band seriously is now a successful an rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile... I'm still unemployed... living with mah parents... an can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

#20407310
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10809) - you deserved it (74331)

On 12/19/2012 at 10:26am - love - by rightinthekarma (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to break up with boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in bathroom. FML

#20403401
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40529) - you deserved it (4329)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

2day mah daughter had the words "Alway classy, never trashy" tattood acros her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31892) - you deserved it (3326)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Taday I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music bieng too loud , and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (4097)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

TODAY, I WENT TO A BAR WITH SOME BUDDIES, AN AFTER TRYING TO PICK UP A FEW GIRLS, ONE OF MAH FRIENDS GOT A NUMBER. WHEN I HERED THE NUMBER I SAID 'SORRY MAN, THAT'S DEFINITELY THE REJECTION HOTLINE NUMBER'. SO MANY GIRLS HAVE GIVEN ME THAT NUMBER, I MEMORIZD IT. FML

#2523037
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54647) - you deserved it (6235)

On 06/02/2009 at 1:41am - love - by toobad (man) - United States (Illinois)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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