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gizmo_987

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gizmo_987
  • Town/Country : Silver Spring, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 September 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 8927
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About gizmo_987 : Born in Maryland, but going to college in Virginia

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Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

#13184282 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (17453) - you deserved it (9050)

On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML

#5678496 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (27510) - you deserved it (6479)

On 10/06/2009 at 4:28am - misc - by coolchicka05 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML

#5618534 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (28173) - you deserved it (2964)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, I found out the reason my clothes have been smelling a little funny isn't because I sweat heavily, it's because of the dead rat in the back of my dryer. FML

#5541455 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (31016) - you deserved it (3489)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML

#5541044 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (51573) - you deserved it (1632)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by rainedaddy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999 (590)

I agree, your life sucks (84482) - you deserved it (17446)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML

#3794107 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (40770) - you deserved it (2548)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by megxox (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She's not actually a lesbian. She has been using our relationship to piss off her conservative parents. We've been together for over a year, and I've been in love with her for over five. FML

#3437520 (280)

I agree, your life sucks (54228) - you deserved it (5437)

On 07/02/2009 at 9:33pm - love - by heart-broken (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband's rich aunt and uncle came in town and handed us an envelope and said we hope this helps out with the student loans. Inside the envelope was just an article on new student loan procedures and how to get lower payments. FML

#3430173 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (33868) - you deserved it (6005)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:37pm - money - by kbrider (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the doctor. I told her I felt down all the time. She asked me a few questions and she told me I was depressed. She suggested to go home and find the sources of my depression. When I told my parents, they started laughing and said "Yeah, right." I think I found my source. FML

#3429206 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (40287) - you deserved it (2295)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by farrahfarrest_ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was completely wasted at my bachelor party, and my friends thought it would be funny to put sodium nitrate on my penis. Sodium nitrate makes your skin dark purple for a couple of weeks. My wedding is next week and my fiancee has never seen me naked. FML

#3418907 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (54654) - you deserved it (13825)

On 07/02/2009 at 2:32am - intimacy - by purpledick (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened windows explorer repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML

#3389497 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (40271) - you deserved it (4797)

On 07/01/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Robert (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

#148827 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (93665) - you deserved it (7269)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)