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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44034) - you deserved it (2274)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32029) - you deserved it (3148)
On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53244) - you deserved it (3179)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32067) - you deserved it (3177)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40375) - you deserved it (2129)
On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40418) - you deserved it (3656)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:29am - animals - by JamiesMom (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (55052)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom
Today, my dad walked in on me lying down with my cat, eating ice cream, watching The Notebook with tears in my eyes. As if that's not bad enough, I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39941) - you deserved it (15178)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49032) - you deserved it (7129)
On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States
Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48907) - you deserved it (2947)
On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40631) - you deserved it (3212)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)
Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43989) - you deserved it (15416)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico
Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24072) - you deserved it (32354)
On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41054) - you deserved it (4643)
On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66987) - you deserved it (4072)
On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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