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gingermass437's FML badges
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
gingermass437's favorite FMLs
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
by JohnMackSquirts / 03/19/2009 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML
by wideman / 02/28/2009 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentines Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML
by kolgate / 02/15/2009 at 5:12am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML
by amg85904 / 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
by theguy24 / 01/27/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
by james / 12/14/2008 at 8:14am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
- Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was… Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly… Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush…
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…