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gingermass437's FML badges
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I agree, their lives suck
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gingermass437's favorite FMLs
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
by jessefonsexy. / 12/07/2010 at 6:08am / United States (Georgia) / Work
by nicki / 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 10:00am / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2010 at 12:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 5:26am / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Love
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
by maebyf / 08/31/2010 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by sarahfromthesouth / 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
by Oops / 05/23/2010 at 5:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
by Catois / 03/05/2010 at 12:17am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/15/2010 at 7:53am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML
by boundandgagged / 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
by cold-n-stinky / 01/12/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by notcool / 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
by PoorGramps / 12/09/2009 at 2:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML
by proteinboy / 11/15/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (New York) / Health