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I agree, their lives suck
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gingermass437's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Stung / 02/10/2012 at 9:13am / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML
by oh.geez / 02/05/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Animals
Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML
by Bruce / 02/01/2012 at 10:11pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Kids
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 1:13am / Canada / Animals
by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
by eakthegeek / 01/10/2012 at 4:36am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 11/10/2011 at 2:06am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by hatemyboss / 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…