About gilliaga73 : I wish I owned a guinea pig.
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gilliaga73's favorite FMLs
Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML
by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML
by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML
by Biologyfacepalm / 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm / United States / Work
Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML
by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health
by freed / 01/29/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 10:43am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Animals
by honeybunny90 / 12/28/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by I don't know, son / 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
by not getting laid / 10/13/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML
by ;_;" / 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Work
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
by NoNotCats =^._.^= / 09/03/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Arizona) / Health
by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/27/2013 at 3:21am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Geek
- Today, I was discussing face shapes with a coworker. After we both agreed I had an oval face shape… Today, my father-in-law and husband decided it would be a great idea for the three of us to share a… Today, I received an aggressive voicemail from a date asking why I was late. We were due to meet at…