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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31308) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (1554) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -
Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19730) - you deserved it (2636)
On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20581) - you deserved it (1858)
On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35497) - you deserved it (2172)
On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8142) - you deserved it (21681)
Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28513) - you deserved it (10415)
On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States
Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20360) - you deserved it (4906)
On 12/31/2011 at 2:24am - animals - by YOURMOM - United States (California)
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20312) - you deserved it (3807)
On 01/08/2011 at 3:57am - animals - by ciotter (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was watching tv with my grandpa, and he stops flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote lands on my stomach as my mom and grandma walk in the door. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29627) - you deserved it (3188)
On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34676) - you deserved it (5642)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I received multiple phone calls asking how much my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never had a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. Turns out the guy I prank phone called the other day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist with an add for a Siamese cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2945) - you deserved it (43958)
On 02/10/2010 at 1:39am - animals - by AUDONEE (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30458) - you deserved it (4432)
On 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (36773)
On 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm - animals - by lily (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40566) - you deserved it (7063)
On 04/25/2009 at 8:18am - misc - by plasticfantastic - United Kingdom (Essex)
Friday 24 May 2013
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