About ghostlilac : university freshman at a party school, weeoo
been coming on fml for years, but i only comment once in a while
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100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (3774)
On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22774) - you deserved it (2663)
On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28056) - you deserved it (5888)
Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "FRIED" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17888) - you deserved it (1698)
On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33291) - you deserved it (3927)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (4338) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27617) - you deserved it (3651)
On 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by rufusthepenis - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12726) - you deserved it (27011)
On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23340) - you deserved it (2819)
On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8136) - you deserved it (13265)
On 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by Username (man) - United States (California)
Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (2208)
On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)
Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I was making hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6819) - you deserved it (19561)
On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15848) - you deserved it (7322)
On 08/16/2011 at 12:55pm - work - by secret dancer (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you deserved it (8537)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
I agree, your life sucks (26806) - you deserved it (3816)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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