About ghostlilac : green day, billy talent, weezer fan. canadian. have been described as "wonderfully awkward" and "sheldon cooper-esque".
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ghostlilac's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 10:55am / United States / Work
by lame-o-prof / 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML
by strokesie / 07/03/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 10:39am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 06/28/2013 at 4:36pm / Jordan (Al Balqa') / Miscellaneous
by confusedbagel / 06/27/2013 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 12:56am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by thanksdoc / 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by myfavoritesgouda / 06/24/2013 at 1:20am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML
by me / 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- Today, I had sex with a guy I met at a party and passed out in his bed. When I woke up at 3 am, he… Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone… Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have…
- Today, locked out of my house for hours, I had to shit so badly that I found myself squatting under… Today, my mom decided to delete every one of my guy friends out of my phone. she's actually crazy.… Today, My sister called my boyfriend by my ex's name. I haven't been with my ex for six years. Now,…