Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ghostlilac

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

ghostlilac

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 April 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6158
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ghostlilac : green day, billy talent, weezer fan. canadian. have been described as "wonderfully awkward" and "sheldon cooper-esque".

ghostlilac's page activity

Visits<b>33kameron33</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 8:53pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:54am<b>decroma</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 6:03am<b>giannae</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 7:57am<b>10220706</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 6:07pm<b>readhead99</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 1:08pm<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 3:36am<b>Karls_Marx</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 2:14am<b>ImBetterInPerson</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 11:13pm<b>johnny692</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:40am<b>mukmuk7</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 5:37pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:10pm<b>appi</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 1:48pm<b>whitelightning19</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:01pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:21am<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:52am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:00am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:57am

ghostlilac's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of ghostlilac's badges

ghostlilac's favorite FMLs

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML

#20840549
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45158) - you deserved it (7424)

On 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
115 comments

Today, someone told me that my initials really fit my personality. I took it as a strange compliment, until I realized my initials spell "ew". FML

#20832005
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46157) - you deserved it (4433)

On 08/11/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by ew - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52545) - you deserved it (4640)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57906) - you deserved it (9075)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60416) - you deserved it (9908)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70077) - you deserved it (7082)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, after our grandmother's memorial service, my 9-year-old sister took it upon herself to solemnly inform the priest in front of everyone in attendance that, "You lied. Jesus isn't here." FML

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51631) - you deserved it (25671)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

#20788188
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48059) - you deserved it (4010)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45435) - you deserved it (3937)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML

Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML

#20760331
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46656) - you deserved it (12357)

On 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: