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ghostlilac

Offline (the 01/30/2016 at 4:23am) | Search for a member

ghostlilac

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 April 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6125
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ghostlilac : green day, billy talent, weezer fan. canadian. have been described as "wonderfully awkward" and "sheldon cooper-esque".

ghostlilac's page activity

Visits<b>33kameron33</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Allornone</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:54am<b>decroma</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 6:03am<b>giannae</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 7:57am<b>10220706</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 6:07pm<b>readhead99</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 1:08pm<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 3:36am<b>Karls_Marx</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 2:14am<b>ImBetterInPerson</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 11:13pm<b>johnny692</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:40am<b>mukmuk7</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 5:37pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:10pm<b>appi</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 1:48pm<b>whitelightning19</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:01pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:21am<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:52am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:00am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:57am

ghostlilac's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of ghostlilac's badges

ghostlilac's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44623) - you deserved it (5658)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

#17999888
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33497) - you deserved it (6197) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - work - by Mayabie - France

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML

#17889582
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37224) - you deserved it (4630)

On 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by rufusthepenis - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16764) - you deserved it (34187)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32465) - you deserved it (4125)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML

#17675561
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12313) - you deserved it (22860)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by Username (man) - United States (California)

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32166) - you deserved it (3351)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10021) - you deserved it (31652)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

#17490024
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23963) - you deserved it (10833)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:55pm - work - by secret dancer (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38673) - you deserved it (10328)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35710) - you deserved it (4637)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38522) - you deserved it (10977)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

#17374086
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27814) - you deserved it (9964)

On 08/05/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Fred - Japan

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41471) - you deserved it (10345)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21192) - you deserved it (49316)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)



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