ghostlilac

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ghostlilac

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6581
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ghostlilac : green day, billy talent, weezer fan. canadian. have been described as "wonderfully awkward" and "sheldon cooper-esque".

ghostlilac's page activity

Visits<b>Konker77</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 3:13am<b>bheaze</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 6:46am<b>33kameron33</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 8:53pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:54am<b>decroma</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 6:03am<b>giannae</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 7:57am<b>10220706</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 6:07pm<b>readhead99</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 1:08pm<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 3:36am<b>Karls_Marx</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 2:14am<b>ImBetterInPerson</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 11:13pm<b>johnny692</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:40am<b>mukmuk7</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 5:37pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:10pm<b>appi</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 1:48pm<b>whitelightning19</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:01pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:21am<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:52am

ghostlilac's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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ghostlilac's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

by Mayabie / 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm / France / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML

by rufusthepenis / 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

by FullOfNick / 09/10/2011 at 3:11am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML

by Username / 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

by abby181 / 09/03/2011 at 10:36am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

by dragos_dgt / 09/02/2011 at 3:48am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Work

Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

by secret dancer / 08/16/2011 at 12:55pm / Sweden (Jonkopings Lan) / Work

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

by Fred / 08/05/2011 at 1:45am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

by Taylor / 07/30/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy