Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ghostlilac

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

ghostlilac

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 April 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3528
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ghostlilac : weezer fan. almost albino. have been described as "wonderfully awkward" and "sheldon cooper-esque".

ghostlilac's page activity

Visits<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:00am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:57am<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:08am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:13pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 6:35am<b>Killjoy4821</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:16pm<b>SofiaFaolan</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 9:42pm<b>carriexmichelle</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 8:41pm<b>bitch_plz</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 11:52pm<b>DeOxy</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 1:13am<b>SJParker</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 10:32am<b>XxOrangexX</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 9:41am<b>TheDinhDonger</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 9:27am<b>WeezingTheJuice</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 12:03am<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 9:58am<b>Npinzon1994</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 8:36pm<b>dalenick</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 11:19am<b>erinrichyrich</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 10:22pm

ghostlilac's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of ghostlilac's badges

ghostlilac's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8650) - you deserved it (28428)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

#17490024
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20729) - you deserved it (9886)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:55pm - work - by secret dancer (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34737) - you deserved it (9621)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31793) - you deserved it (4278)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34309) - you deserved it (9869)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

#17374086
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24714) - you deserved it (9464)

On 08/05/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Fred - Japan

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you deserved it (9707)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18926) - you deserved it (45855)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

#17026293
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29554) - you deserved it (5015)

On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

#16984657
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33373) - you deserved it (4060)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:04am - work - by chawlay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

#16914015
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33582) - you deserved it (5233)

On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38253) - you deserved it (5121)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML

#16814483
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41984) - you deserved it (3641)

On 06/23/2011 at 10:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12620) - you deserved it (57842)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML

#16477433
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26010) - you deserved it (5795)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:21am - misc - by AndieApocalypse - United States



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: