About ghostlilac : university freshman at a party school, weeoo
been coming on fml for years, but i only comment once in a while
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100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29556) - you deserved it (11062)
On 11/02/2010 at 2:20am - work - by saraleerocha - Sent from mobile version
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28885) - you deserved it (16268)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27901) - you deserved it (1957)
On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28236) - you deserved it (3719)
On 08/15/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5222) - you deserved it (31626)
On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20670) - you deserved it (2417)
On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29430) - you deserved it (7541)
On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45367) - you deserved it (4597)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20020) - you deserved it (2704)
On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)
Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18833) - you deserved it (5801)
On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19855) - you deserved it (4636)
On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20060) - you deserved it (3290)
On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13089) - you deserved it (30697)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19177) - you deserved it (3831)
On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was telling my cousin about my boyfriend, who plays guitar and sings very well, has dark hair, and wears girl pants. After telling her these things, she's quiet for a moment before she looks at me and says, "So... You're dating a Jonas brother?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6297) - you deserved it (28699)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by kikinemo (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Friday 24 May 2013
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