About ghostlilac : university freshman at a party school, weeoo
been coming on fml for years, but i only comment once in a while
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18823) - you deserved it (2468)
On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)
Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29786) - you deserved it (3397)
On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15719) - you deserved it (21464)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42576) - you deserved it (4556)
On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30164) - you deserved it (24881)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12618) - you deserved it (36114)
On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9229) - you deserved it (28216)
On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21734) - you deserved it (6978)
On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I started lessons on snowboarding. As soon as I got to the top of the hill, my instructor pushed me saying, "Just believe, it'll come to you!" He said this just before I hit a tree, breaking my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23677) - you deserved it (2583)
On 02/27/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (2673)
On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24948) - you deserved it (4739)
On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33402) - you deserved it (6870)
On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (7644)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, when I signed into Amazon, their top recommendation for me based on past purchases was "The Brave Little Toaster" on DVD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6229) - you deserved it (18097)
On 11/08/2010 at 4:04am - misc - by lambxox - United States
Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28378) - you deserved it (9504)
On 11/02/2010 at 2:20am - work - by saraleerocha - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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