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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4849) - you deserved it (39678)
On 10/10/2009 at 2:10am - work - by dammitt (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I learned that the excessive groin sweating I've been trying to deal with for weeks isn't groin sweating. It's a slow and steady stream of urine that I have no control over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39784) - you deserved it (2392)
On 10/09/2009 at 5:25pm - health - by lizzzie (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9482) - you deserved it (26680)
On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, during the opening night performance of our schools musical, while I wasn't on stage I decided to use the restroom. I came out to find two of my fellow actresses putting their hands over my mouth. Apparently, I had left my microphone on and everyone heard me using the restroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (8240)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:47am - misc - by Porcelain (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (2459)
On 10/02/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by greeenbean (woman) - Samoa
Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (2459)
On 10/02/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by greeenbean (woman) - Samoa
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56413) - you deserved it (3657)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15666) - you deserved it (2138)
On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I decided to propose to my girlfriend on the Charles Bridge in Prague. A little boy thought it would be fun to chase a flock of pigeons towards me. I freaked out and dropped the 2 carat diamond ring. Into the river. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46511) - you deserved it (7584)
On 09/22/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by sadguy (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (6159)
On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to an interview for a job I really wanted and am qualified for. I've been looking for months. This job was perfect; close to home and great pay. Needless to say I spent quite a while preparing. Everything was going great until I had to sneeze, which forced out a loud, long fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38578) - you deserved it (2664)
On 09/16/2009 at 6:37am - work - by interviewed (woman) - United States
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20801) - you deserved it (3690)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I locked myself out of my car while I was putting mail in the mailbox. I could handle that. What I couldn't handle was watching as my car idled away a full tank of gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8508) - you deserved it (22572)
On 09/14/2009 at 4:33am - misc - by PostmanPat (man) - New Zealand (Otago)
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45355) - you deserved it (6400)
On 09/07/2009 at 9:32am - love - by GasAttack (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8346) - you deserved it (23844)
On 09/06/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by cachow (man) - United States (Ohio)
Friday 24 May 2013
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