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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36108) - you deserved it (2981)
On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my research partner emails me 2 hours before our deadline saying that she can't complete her half of our 20 page report because when she woke up this morning she couldn't see. How did she write the email? FML
I agree, your life sucks (32977) - you deserved it (1573)
On 10/18/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by NUsConstantine (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28701) - you deserved it (1670)
On 10/17/2009 at 3:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74962) - you deserved it (10599)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was vigorously putting primer on my canvas for a beginning painting class. I accidentally sprayed specks of primer on the very dark painting to the right of mine. The painter is in an advanced class. She's been working on this one all semester. There's no one to her right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5784) - you deserved it (20487)
On 10/14/2009 at 5:31am - misc - by fmypaint (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25817) - you deserved it (6306)
On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say "Will you marry me" a bird shat on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36872) - you deserved it (5302)
On 10/10/2009 at 8:52am - love - by -bird-poop- (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4844) - you deserved it (39671)
On 10/10/2009 at 2:10am - work - by dammitt (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I learned that the excessive groin sweating I've been trying to deal with for weeks isn't groin sweating. It's a slow and steady stream of urine that I have no control over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39763) - you deserved it (2392)
On 10/09/2009 at 5:25pm - health - by lizzzie (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9481) - you deserved it (26669)
On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, during the opening night performance of our schools musical, while I wasn't on stage I decided to use the restroom. I came out to find two of my fellow actresses putting their hands over my mouth. Apparently, I had left my microphone on and everyone heard me using the restroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25556) - you deserved it (8240)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:47am - misc - by Porcelain (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26734) - you deserved it (2458)
On 10/02/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by greeenbean (woman) - Samoa
Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26734) - you deserved it (2458)
On 10/02/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by greeenbean (woman) - Samoa
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56402) - you deserved it (3656)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15647) - you deserved it (2138)
On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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