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gharra5

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gharra5
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 848
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gharra5's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32397) - you deserved it (4807)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19356) - you deserved it (1729)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

#19045856
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10300) - you deserved it (39966)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:36am - love - by sarah (woman) - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

#18969254
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (3343)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21698) - you deserved it (4837)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

#18958302
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19568) - you deserved it (3984)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:22am - kids - by beautifulme (woman) - United States

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

#18951415
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9406) - you deserved it (38774)

On 01/30/2012 at 10:27am - health - by cbad (woman) - United States

Today, I was left at the altar. For the second time. By the same man. FML

#18949271
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30332) - you deserved it (54914)

On 01/30/2012 at 12:37am - love - by givingup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20053) - you deserved it (9359)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20053) - you deserved it (9359)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

#18929275
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6034) - you deserved it (48071)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by smith (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30851) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30851) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was getting ready to take a shower, I placed my phone on the counter next to the toilet. While I was washing my hair, someone called me. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it until it vibrated off the counter and into the toilet. FML

#18881874
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14146) - you deserved it (24715)

On 01/22/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by needanewphone - United States (Illinois)



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