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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45132) - you deserved it (3683)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)
Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39082) - you deserved it (9417)
On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (53331) - you deserved it (10793)
On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52172) - you deserved it (2697)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands
Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34413) - you deserved it (4586)
On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38162) - you deserved it (2214)
On 05/03/2013 at 4:52pm - health - by SSeizeTheDay (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38463) - you deserved it (2725)
On 05/03/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36250) - you deserved it (15887)
On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)
Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38196) - you deserved it (2429)
On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45789) - you deserved it (2630)
On 04/27/2013 at 4:23pm - health - by stuckwithafamilyofcunts (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)
Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47700) - you deserved it (2789)
On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)
Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43803) - you deserved it (3941)
On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46605) - you deserved it (2732)
On 04/27/2013 at 4:28am - misc - by whathehell (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48180) - you deserved it (9906)
On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34865) - you deserved it (4773)
On 04/26/2013 at 8:21pm - kids - by Shitty genes, no two ways about it. (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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