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gharra5

Offline (the 04/17/2015 at 8:18pm) | Search for a member

gharra5

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7310
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gharra5's page activity

Visits<b>Higamalia</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 1:38pm<b>windell</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:32pm<b>melinal</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:43pm<b>seth7_</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 1:24pm

gharra5's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of gharra5's badges

gharra5's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

#21335609
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24695) - you deserved it (6733)

On 01/12/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

#21335591
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30259) - you deserved it (2218)

On 01/12/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nick (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

#21335369
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32177) - you deserved it (2594)

On 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18118) - you deserved it (26362)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first ever orgasm. Then he bitched me out for insulting his intelligence, saying it was "blatantly fake" and that "women don't orgasm like that". FML

#21334061
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33717) - you deserved it (2743)

On 01/09/2015 at 6:09pm - intimacy - by good2know (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

#21333974
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39002) - you deserved it (3058)

On 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

#21333944
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39976) - you deserved it (2464)

On 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm - love - by je suis christy - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was sitting at my computer, petting one of my cats, who was sitting on my lap. My other cat got jealous and tried to climb onto my lap as well. They ended up fighting. I was wearing shorts. FML

#21333736
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27449) - you deserved it (3681)

On 01/09/2015 at 1:44am - animals - by Crazy Cat Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, my sister and I got stuck in an airport elevator. We were separated from our friends, missed our flight and had to walk two hours to find our gate. On the bright side, we ended up having a pleasant talk with an Air Marshal on why we were "stalking people". FML

#21333074
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28847) - you deserved it (2382)

On 01/08/2015 at 12:24am - misc - by random - United States (Colorado)

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34439) - you deserved it (5143)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

#21332502
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33829) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by MonsterProblems (woman) - Croatia

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. I called the fire department and told them where I was. They said they'd be right there and not to panic. It's hour 6. FML

#21332463
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33203) - you deserved it (2040)

On 01/07/2015 at 1:03am - health - by random875 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML



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