gh3tt0cak3s

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gh3tt0cak3s

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2963
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gh3tt0cak3s's favorite FMLs

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML

by today / 03/17/2010 at 2:12am / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

by disturbed / 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

by disturbed / 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

by please_no / 03/16/2010 at 10:40am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML

by LonelyBoy / 03/16/2010 at 1:12am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

by hiii. / 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm / United States (Indiana) / Geek

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

by OhhhNooo / 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek

Today, I thought I lost my wallet. Canceled my bank cards. Bought a new wallet. Got a $141 parking fine at the motor registry while getting my replacement license which also cost me $22. Went to go to the gym and when I went to put my bike jacket on, felt something inside the sleeve. My wallet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 2:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

by robotchickens / 03/10/2010 at 2:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

by robotchickens / 03/10/2010 at 2:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

by ohno / 03/10/2010 at 6:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

by Al / 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous