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gh3tt0cak3s

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gh3tt0cak3s

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gh3tt0cak3s's favorite FMLs

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML

#9152447
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33153) - you deserved it (3888)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:12am - intimacy - by today -

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36766) - you deserved it (2929)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36766) - you deserved it (2929)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

#9129175
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32996) - you deserved it (2915)

On 03/16/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by please_no (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML

#9122950
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12353) - you deserved it (23165)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:12am - misc - by LonelyBoy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

#9117281
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9121) - you deserved it (35567)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm - misc - by hiii. (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40800) - you deserved it (8437)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26626) - you deserved it (5139)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28240) - you deserved it (2012)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23768) - you deserved it (10050)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I thought I lost my wallet. Canceled my bank cards. Bought a new wallet. Got a $141 parking fine at the motor registry while getting my replacement license which also cost me $22. Went to go to the gym and when I went to put my bike jacket on, felt something inside the sleeve. My wallet. FML

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

#8972575
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20604) - you deserved it (2245)

On 03/10/2010 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by robotchickens (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

#8972575
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20604) - you deserved it (2245)

On 03/10/2010 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by robotchickens (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

#8966717
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12408) - you deserved it (25451)

On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21168) - you deserved it (2432)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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