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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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getwild

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getwild
  • Town/Country : Delta, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 May 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 731
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About getwild : I'm a 15 year old male who loves ice hockey, girls, and ice cream.

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getwild's favorite FMLs

Today, I was docked and fined in my dorm building because of multiple noise complaints. What was I doing that was so noisy? I slipped in the shower and banged my head against the floor. Then when I reached for the towel rack to pull myself up, it broke and I slammed my wrist onto the ground. FML

#8329398 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (18352) - you deserved it (1485)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:26am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

#7027797 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (24205) - you deserved it (1490)

On 12/30/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by planes - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

#6792235 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (8628) - you deserved it (31914)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML

#5938772 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (9980) - you deserved it (3892)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was listening to music, talking to a boy I like on MSN. He asked if I could share the song I was listening to, so I did. It wasn't until I had shared and fully transferred it did I realise it was actually the fake radio show I record on my own, in a phoney Australian accent. All 6 minutes of it. FML

#5830310 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (5393) - you deserved it (22282)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by LasagnaRawks (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

#4627317 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (14360) - you deserved it (46834)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013 (863)

I agree, your life sucks (43451) - you deserved it (361046)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348 (832)

I agree, your life sucks (32056) - you deserved it (381720)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363040) - you deserved it (401385)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

#226342 (993)

I agree, your life sucks (284926) - you deserved it (55474)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob (I don't normally do it because I have a fear of getting squirt in the eye). Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bite the wrong spot and get lemon juice shot right into my eye. FML

#99356 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (22094) - you deserved it (64835)

On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179 (667)

I agree, your life sucks (538163) - you deserved it (47591)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

#15767 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (7910) - you deserved it (30820)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by dgordo3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

#4944 (36)

I agree, your life sucks (16471) - you deserved it (3564)

On 02/01/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by achtung - United States (Connecticut)