About genki008 : wants an ap to stream my favorite FMLs onto my facebook
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I texted my brother saying "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he answered: "You better not be doing drugs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19513) - you deserved it (8083)
On 10/21/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by Lovelysister (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26144) - you deserved it (5144)
On 10/21/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by Rayvyn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24387) - you deserved it (11623)
On 10/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30181) - you deserved it (4705)
On 10/01/2009 at 10:25am - animals - by unloved (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56419) - you deserved it (3657)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17938) - you deserved it (61043)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32477) - you deserved it (5215)
On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24478) - you deserved it (65192)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49135) - you deserved it (6973)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18273) - you deserved it (58278)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53311) - you deserved it (3762)
On 05/28/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by Jeanine (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend of two years asked me to marry him so that we can consolidate our student loans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45364) - you deserved it (2552)
On 05/28/2009 at 3:51pm - love - by loserface23 (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16814) - you deserved it (62581)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (80296) - you deserved it (18416)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (106527)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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