Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

garrett1999o3

Offline (the 08/10/2014 at 4:29am) | Search for a member

garrett1999o3

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 674
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About garrett1999o3 : Welcome to me.

garrett1999o3's page activity

Visits<b>endurancefan212</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 4:33pm<b>hahagetwerkd</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:49pm<b>NourHYK</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:29am<b>MrTibbers</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 7:52pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 10:23pm<b>emirie</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:49pm<b>TheAsma</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:18pm<b>honeymoonroyale</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:58am<b>LittleTrees</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:29am<b>wateryoudoing_</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 3:34pm<b>dmd316</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 8:22pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:56pm<b>gmian</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 4:31pm<b>Sarmax</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 1:56am<b>deepunder</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 5:15am<b>Fesyna</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 4:21pm<b>rosenkrieger223</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 3:57pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 5:56am

garrett1999o3's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of garrett1999o3's badges

garrett1999o3's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (3293)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25249) - you deserved it (4175)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

#18714310
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27119) - you deserved it (3125)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:06am - animals - by Imgonnahaveabf - United States

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31862) - you deserved it (2814)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

#18447759
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23029) - you deserved it (3019)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

#18304597
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12410) - you deserved it (38540)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30091) - you deserved it (3126)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML

#17426296
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31867) - you deserved it (2958)

On 08/10/2011 at 3:22am - misc - by TheKunitzShow14 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

#17092208
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30630) - you deserved it (2799)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44489) - you deserved it (9946)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

#16381910
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17173) - you deserved it (41658)

On 05/28/2011 at 1:27am - money - by greenhide8 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML

#16213950
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38056) - you deserved it (14724)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:12pm - love - by Fatty (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

#16028300
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (7228)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

#15127985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6418) - you deserved it (56457)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by bitchyskier - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31297) - you deserved it (7798)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: