garrett1999o3

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Offline (the 08/10/2014 at 4:29am)

garrett1999o3

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 September 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1393
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About garrett1999o3 : Welcome to me.

garrett1999o3's page activity

Visits<b>madi10647</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 9:18am<b>xXl_Exodus_lXx</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:06pm<b>Fooflybag</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 9:17pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 4:07pm<b>PapaMoti</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:20pm<b>endurancefan212</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 4:33pm<b>hahagetwerkd</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:49pm<b>NourHYK</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:29am<b>MrTibbers</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 7:52pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 10:23pm<b>emirie</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:49pm<b>TheAsma</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:18pm<b>honeymoonroyale</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:58am<b>LittleTrees</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:29am<b>wateryoudoing_</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 3:34pm<b>dmd316</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 8:22pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:56pm<b>gmian</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 4:31pm

garrett1999o3's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of garrett1999o3's badges

garrett1999o3's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2012 at 1:59am / United States / Animals

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

by ohai95 / 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

by lotd / 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

by lotd / 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML

by Lola / 07/23/2012 at 12:31am / Animals

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

by anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

by scorpionsurviver / 07/08/2012 at 5:47am / United States / Animals

Today, before I went into surgery, the patient next to me just finished the same procedure I was going to get. As he woke up in the recovery area 10 feet away, I was getting my final prep before the operation. On my way into the operating room I was comforted by his screams of agonizing pain. FML

by lubey / 05/19/2012 at 6:02am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

by gl0b3suck0r / 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Animals

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

by f*ck / 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm / United States / Love