Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

garrett1999o3

Search for a member

garrett1999o3
  • Town/Country : Arlington, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 September 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 409
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About garrett1999o3 : Welcome to me.

garrett1999o3's last visitors

NourHYKMrTibberstampabayfanemiriehoneymoonroyaleLittleTreesjadeluvgmian

garrett1999o3's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of garrett1999o3's badges

garrett1999o3's favorite FMLs

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34526) - you deserved it (2270)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML

#20050522
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12662) - you deserved it (7396)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by baconlady (woman) - United States

Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML

#20050170
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (1227)

On 08/30/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

#20049241
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29509) - you deserved it (1477)

On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)

Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML

#20049122
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14958) - you deserved it (8195)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument which resulted in her begging for a divorce and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML

#20043524
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22367) - you deserved it (1568)

On 08/26/2012 at 10:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML

#20040149
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22430) - you deserved it (251)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, while traveling with my cat, I had a mini-freakout when I realized that I left his favorite toy in the hotel room. I'm a 30-year-old man. FML

#20030776
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14118) - you deserved it (7693)

On 08/19/2012 at 10:19pm - animals - by speshlk37 (man) - United States

Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML

#20029819
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22735) - you deserved it (1939)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm - love - by yarhyun1 (man) - United States

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

#20029295
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18176) - you deserved it (4955)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

#20027054
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21367) - you deserved it (1707)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:39pm - misc - by wow, thanks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

#20027025
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28647) - you deserved it (1225)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

#20015021
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22119) - you deserved it (7315)

On 08/11/2012 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18281) - you deserved it (4178)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML

#20010632
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (3179)

On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: