garikay

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Offline (the 12/30/2015 at 4:25am)

garikay

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  • Number of visits : 2252
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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The Mixer

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML

by hatemebeforetheyevenhatch / 02/23/2015 at 7:08pm / United Kingdom (West Dunbartonshire) / Health

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

by headache / 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML

by tom28402 / 02/22/2015 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

by IngenuityAbsent / 02/22/2015 at 8:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

by wife / 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML

by besosforme / 02/20/2015 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to stage an intervention for a friend who abuses drugs. I ended up with my hair on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2015 at 8:34am / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

by cactii / 02/16/2015 at 3:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

by TheKingKen / 02/13/2015 at 3:40am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

by Mkimmi / 02/12/2015 at 2:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2015 at 10:59pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I got a letter in the mail telling me to report for jury duty. The day that I have to show up is the day of my wedding. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2015 at 6:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous