Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

garikay

Offline (the 05/18/2015 at 7:18pm) | Search for a member

garikay

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1212
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

garikay's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of garikay's badges

garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25826) - you deserved it (6875)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML

#21345551
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28536) - you deserved it (2235)

On 01/28/2015 at 10:01am - work - by retailshell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

#21344889
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15236) - you deserved it (25618)

On 01/27/2015 at 12:43am - misc - by katrina2d (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML

#21344486
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25556) - you deserved it (5195)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:21am - animals - by HannaMD - Canada

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38303) - you deserved it (6733)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (3226)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41865) - you deserved it (2520)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26926) - you deserved it (8972)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (33211)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

#21236025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41320) - you deserved it (8874)

On 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by facefuckedguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40290) - you deserved it (7219)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40658) - you deserved it (14529)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

#21222137
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44835) - you deserved it (4534)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by Yeppets (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

#21219482
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40650) - you deserved it (3945)

On 07/24/2014 at 4:51pm - love - by I don't condome that, babe (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: