garikay

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Offline (the 12/30/2015 at 4:25am)

garikay

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  • Number of visits : 2686
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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garikay's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

by BERNDTOAST / 03/27/2015 at 11:27am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML

by Anonyme / 03/27/2015 at 5:50am / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

by comfort_ / 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

by anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I overheard my co-workers referring to me as "Uncle Fester". This is apparently my nickname around the office, and has been for nearly three years. I had no idea. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2015 at 9:49pm / United States (West Virginia) / Work

Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML

by jumanji / 03/23/2015 at 7:19pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

by waxer150 / 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

by uhoh.. / 03/22/2015 at 3:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

by noway / 03/22/2015 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

by MirandaJones / 03/20/2015 at 10:41am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, after telling my parents that I want to be a vegetarian, I got grounded. Apparently, "black people can't be vegetarians" and, I'm "crazy for even suggesting something like that." FML

by shawnsmuffins / 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML

by Fred / 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, after a 16-hour work day, I came home to my husband. I talked to him for about 10 minutes, then realized that he wasn't answering me but had his headset on and was talking on Xbox live. Not even playing a game, just talking. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2015 at 1:35am / Love

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer because he thought I was skipping school. I'm 24 and we graduated high school together. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2015 at 1:01am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous