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garikay

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garikay

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  • Number of visits : 1234
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34372) - you deserved it (4979)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

#21364495
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31998) - you deserved it (3012)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:13am - love - by shoggoth_wild - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31695) - you deserved it (47)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

#21362620
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32605) - you deserved it (2707)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:32pm - misc - by toastynippies - United States

Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML

#21361977
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29929) - you deserved it (5019)

On 02/23/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by hatemebeforetheyevenhatch (woman) - United Kingdom (West Dunbartonshire)

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (4783)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML

#21361215
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28308) - you deserved it (3895)

On 02/22/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by tom28402 - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29903) - you deserved it (4105)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34562) - you deserved it (8275)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML

Today, I tried to stage an intervention for a friend who abuses drugs. I ended up with my hair on fire. FML

#21359096
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28893) - you deserved it (3645)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39531) - you deserved it (3111)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

#21357430
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32483) - you deserved it (12938)

On 02/16/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by cactii - United States



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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