garikay

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Offline (the 12/30/2015 at 4:25am)

garikay

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2692
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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garikay's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

by what even / 05/14/2015 at 6:17pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

by Basically_ / 05/11/2015 at 5:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm / India (Delhi) / Intimacy

Today, my main source of income is finding money on the ground. FML

by CASH_NoMOMEY / 05/07/2015 at 1:12am / United States (California) / Work

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

by I pick em' good / 05/03/2015 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2015 at 5:59am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2015 at 4:41pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Kids

Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML

by Junkiegamer / 04/27/2015 at 10:20am / United States (Texas) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

by advanced history teacher / 04/27/2015 at 12:58am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

by RBergman / 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

by queenbitch / 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

by ThatSlappinBass / 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.