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garikay
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33542) - you deserved it (3609)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46765) - you deserved it (3487)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42872) - you deserved it (4901)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

#20435818
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39103) - you deserved it (13200)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42963) - you deserved it (6773) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

#20434205
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32062) - you deserved it (3398)

On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

#20434038
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (2557)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27369) - you deserved it (4811)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

#20433319
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20831) - you deserved it (2617)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

#20432925
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26104) - you deserved it (8072)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34789) - you deserved it (4447)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

#20432522
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18278) - you deserved it (15412)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

#20431269
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38958) - you deserved it (3007)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML

#20430536
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (5187)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by single once again (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)



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