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Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14023) - you deserved it (2538)
On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19533) - you deserved it (2169)
On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20342) - you deserved it (3721)
On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States
Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15710) - you deserved it (872)
On 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23917) - you deserved it (4080)
On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)
Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19329) - you deserved it (1386)
On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14462) - you deserved it (3684)
On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States
Today, we found out that the beloved "Uncle Jimmy" from my early childhood was really the man my mother was cheating on my dad with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17510) - you deserved it (841)
On 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)
Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15189) - you deserved it (6210)
On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22060) - you deserved it (1265)
On 11/08/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by mayerstexmex69 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19992) - you deserved it (1216)
On 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm - health - by pheebs314 - United States (Washington)
Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16170) - you deserved it (2749)
Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16502) - you deserved it (2946)
On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13973) - you deserved it (4415)
On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22115) - you deserved it (2963)
On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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