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garikay

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garikay

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garikay's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57535) - you deserved it (7017)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

#20656177
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41352) - you deserved it (7158)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

#20649670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71841) - you deserved it (5306)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50249) - you deserved it (11343)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90149) - you deserved it (5647)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67448) - you deserved it (9930)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64047) - you deserved it (14077)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60629) - you deserved it (9154)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71905) - you deserved it (8064)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

#20634792
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58464) - you deserved it (4209)

On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61947) - you deserved it (5007)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53310) - you deserved it (4136)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

#20632537
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42099) - you deserved it (18467)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)



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