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garikay

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garikay

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  • Number of visits : 1369
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49019) - you deserved it (20155)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

#20839682
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44417) - you deserved it (4500)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50799) - you deserved it (18099)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28491) - you deserved it (39946)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, someone told me that my initials really fit my personality. I took it as a strange compliment, until I realized my initials spell "ew". FML

#20832005
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45010) - you deserved it (4329)

On 08/11/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by ew - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

#20820272
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45164) - you deserved it (10397)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

#20819060
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42395) - you deserved it (9156)

On 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm - health - by WTF, America? (man) - Sweden

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

#20815680
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42376) - you deserved it (8593)

On 08/01/2013 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53774) - you deserved it (8536)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49245) - you deserved it (8238)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

#20807504
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46853) - you deserved it (4395)

On 07/28/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Mia (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

#20806393
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46887) - you deserved it (8256)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39442) - you deserved it (3846)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

#20801990
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46307) - you deserved it (3503)

On 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm - misc - by GeeThanks (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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