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garikay

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garikay

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  • Number of visits : 1066
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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML

#20676942
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42904) - you deserved it (2833)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48165) - you deserved it (3262)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50092) - you deserved it (7010)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73460) - you deserved it (6167)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99047) - you deserved it (5982)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

#20661511
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54438) - you deserved it (3043)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48553) - you deserved it (5417)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47283) - you deserved it (2954)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59288) - you deserved it (7015)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

#20656177
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41333) - you deserved it (7158)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

#20649670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71823) - you deserved it (5304)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50230) - you deserved it (11339)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90187) - you deserved it (5645)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67418) - you deserved it (9927)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64033) - you deserved it (14075)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -



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