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garikay

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garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59895) - you deserved it (4621)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46796) - you deserved it (12201)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52168) - you deserved it (16860)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56957) - you deserved it (4379)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54060) - you deserved it (5288)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55546) - you deserved it (5151)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50103) - you deserved it (8404)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43774) - you deserved it (6297)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my nineteen year old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

#21169808
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46223) - you deserved it (14828)

On 06/10/2014 at 4:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51680) - you deserved it (11296)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, at my all-night senior party, I was talking to the blind girl who I haven't had classes with since 9th grade. I unthinkingly opened the conversation with "Nice to see you again." FML

#21167586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37953) - you deserved it (8908)

On 06/08/2014 at 10:17pm - misc - by It'd be nice to see you too. - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

#21166318
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46913) - you deserved it (4710)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by yepintheladiesroom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41237) - you deserved it (4321)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)



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