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garikay

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garikay

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  • Number of visits : 1094
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33371) - you deserved it (7919)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML

Today, I tried to stage an intervention for a friend who abuses drugs. I ended up with my hair on fire. FML

#21359096
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28684) - you deserved it (3634)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37945) - you deserved it (3068)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

#21357430
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30678) - you deserved it (12014)

On 02/16/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by cactii - United States

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (3377)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

#21354562
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31636) - you deserved it (2755)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Mkimmi (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML

#21354453
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25207) - you deserved it (5140)

On 02/11/2015 at 10:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got a letter in the mail telling me to report for jury duty. The day that I have to show up is the day of my wedding. FML

#21353566
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37019) - you deserved it (2325)

On 02/10/2015 at 6:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

#21353290
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28357) - you deserved it (17693)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:51am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

#21352647
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35403) - you deserved it (2782)

On 02/09/2015 at 9:53am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

#21352091
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34246) - you deserved it (2603)

On 02/08/2015 at 1:28pm - misc - by sorry :/ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33888) - you deserved it (2286)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30816) - you deserved it (3059)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia



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