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garikay

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  • Number of visits : 679
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garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29232) - you deserved it (9184)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

#21222137
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37364) - you deserved it (3714)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by Yeppets (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

#21219482
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36359) - you deserved it (3496)

On 07/24/2014 at 4:51pm - love - by I don't condome that, babe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37736) - you deserved it (4371)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43755) - you deserved it (11241)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46474) - you deserved it (5750)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42832) - you deserved it (7894)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49691) - you deserved it (6571)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41262) - you deserved it (2991)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

#21200981
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43510) - you deserved it (4953)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44234) - you deserved it (7053)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55263) - you deserved it (5160) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you deserved it (41878)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

#21193510
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40687) - you deserved it (6878)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59612) - you deserved it (4612)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)



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