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garikay

Offline (the 12/30/2015 at 4:25am) | Search for a member

garikay

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  • Number of visits : 1527
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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garikay's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, my blind date tried to sell me a vacuum. I bought it. FML

Today, my husband jokingly said to me, "I think you love Captain Kirk more than me." Without thinking, I said in a serious tone, "I think I do, too." FML

#21482245
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17777) - you deserved it (7493)

On 10/20/2015 at 3:45pm - love - by trekkiewife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was stabbed because a mugger got mad that I was broke. FML

Today, I walked from my friend's wedding to my divorce. FML

#21481211
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27617) - you deserved it (2054)

On 10/17/2015 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

#21479432
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31629) - you deserved it (5615)

On 10/13/2015 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I got in a fight about which is better: Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. We aren't speaking. FML

Today, my teacher plugged the speakers into the wrong input on his computer, and said, "Oops, wrong hole", to which one of the students who often makes the same mistake said, "Story of my life". I understood it differently and started laughing. It would have been fine if the teacher wasn't her father. FML

Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML

#21467953
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/13/2015 at 11:34am - work - by anonymous (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn't deliver. FML

Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML

#21465694
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22600) - you deserved it (7998)

On 09/07/2015 at 2:08pm - misc - by Blackshadows (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend was putting baby powder on my bare ass, when his dad walked into the room, casually set a laundry basket next to the bed, and walked out like nothing happened. FML

#21464906
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (7657)

On 09/05/2015 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by ManderDander (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came to work with a huge hangover after a night out. I work as a marching band director, and guess who I had to conduct a sectional with? That's right, percussion. My head still hasn't stopped throbbing. FML

#21464672
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11938) - you deserved it (26530)

On 09/04/2015 at 9:25pm - work - by oww - United States (Michigan)

Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML

#21463092
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28938) - you deserved it (4817)

On 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm - kids - by laurencoc - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML

#21454264
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20832) - you deserved it (8875)

On 08/10/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by monster1109 (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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