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Offline (the 09/10/2016 at 3:48pm)



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  • Number of visits : 3270
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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garikay's FML badges

The Mixer

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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garikay's favorite FMLs

Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML

by Oli974 / 10/22/2015 at 9:08am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Work

Today, my blind date tried to sell me a vacuum. I bought it. FML

by sniffmyzebra / 10/20/2015 at 3:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband jokingly said to me, "I think you love Captain Kirk more than me." Without thinking, I said in a serious tone, "I think I do, too." FML

by trekkiewife / 10/20/2015 at 3:45pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was stabbed because a mugger got mad that I was broke. FML

Today, I walked from my friend's wedding to my divorce. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 7:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2015 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I got in a fight about which is better: Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. We aren't speaking. FML

by amburrjade / 09/22/2015 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my teacher plugged the speakers into the wrong input on his computer, and said, "Oops, wrong hole", to which one of the students who often makes the same mistake said, "Story of my life". I understood it differently and started laughing. It would have been fine if the teacher wasn't her father. FML

Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML

by anonymous / 09/13/2015 at 11:34am / Luxembourg / Work

Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn't deliver. FML

by lentkaysi / 09/10/2015 at 6:55pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML

by Blackshadows / 09/07/2015 at 2:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was putting baby powder on my bare ass, when his dad walked into the room, casually set a laundry basket next to the bed, and walked out like nothing happened. FML

by ManderDander / 09/05/2015 at 2:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I came to work with a huge hangover after a night out. I work as a marching band director, and guess who I had to conduct a sectional with? That's right, percussion. My head still hasn't stopped throbbing. FML

by oww / 09/04/2015 at 9:25pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML

by laurencoc / 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML

by monster1109 / 08/10/2015 at 11:51am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous