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galactictoast13

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galactictoast13

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  • Number of visits : 1513
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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galactictoast13's favorite FMLs

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25309) - you deserved it (9451)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)

Today, I repeatedly screamed so loudly and with such emotion at a video game, that my neighbours thought I was in trouble and called the police. FML

#19399944
192 comments

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28873) - you deserved it (3821)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML

#19121013
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8352) - you deserved it (40326)

On 02/20/2012 at 5:01am - misc - by elizabethyeo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

#19023542
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24003) - you deserved it (3589)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34626) - you deserved it (3017)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34626) - you deserved it (3017)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

#18465565
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25595) - you deserved it (2275)

On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

#18285625
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34488) - you deserved it (8049)

On 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm - misc - by dan - Reserved

Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

#18200720
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24885) - you deserved it (3549)

On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23623) - you deserved it (15415)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)



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