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galactictoast13

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galactictoast13
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  • Number of visits : 1097
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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galactictoast13's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6181) - you deserved it (27017)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

#19490563
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15323) - you deserved it (3140)

On 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm - health - by 352 - United States

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20678) - you deserved it (7158)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)

Today, I repeatedly screamed so loudly and with such emotion at a video game, that my neighbours thought I was in trouble and called the police. FML

#19399944
187 comments

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27172) - you deserved it (3629)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML

#19121013
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7579) - you deserved it (37739)

On 02/20/2012 at 5:01am - misc - by elizabethyeo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

#19023542
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22363) - you deserved it (3420)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32878) - you deserved it (2875)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32878) - you deserved it (2875)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

#18465565
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22242) - you deserved it (1999)

On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

#18285625
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33001) - you deserved it (7803)

On 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm - misc - by dan - Reserved



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