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galactictoast13

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galactictoast13

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  • Number of visits : 1620
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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galactictoast13's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11757) - you deserved it (49776)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, after a visit to the bathroom, the lock broke in my hand and the door was jammed. I called the janitor on my cellphone and told him about the situation. He told me to fill out a complaint and leave it in his post box. He then hung up. FML

#13775057
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25790) - you deserved it (2348)

On 11/09/2010 at 6:34am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55988) - you deserved it (12082)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32381) - you deserved it (3132)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32381) - you deserved it (3132)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

#13212563
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31719) - you deserved it (5858)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

#13203283
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12838) - you deserved it (33392)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51832) - you deserved it (7833)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18224) - you deserved it (29271)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18224) - you deserved it (29271)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

#10448158
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28080) - you deserved it (7250)

On 05/10/2010 at 6:14am - money - by boring (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

#9180721
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9796) - you deserved it (42527)

On 03/18/2010 at 4:21am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version



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