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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20124) - you deserved it (1041)
On 09/17/2012 at 7:25am - health - by Missusluv313 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17325) - you deserved it (1853)
On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15796) - you deserved it (1708)
On 09/10/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by CaptainSaveAHoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15547) - you deserved it (1047)
On 08/15/2012 at 11:15am - misc - by Bree - United States
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24372) - you deserved it (6201)
On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13945) - you deserved it (2257)
On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6626) - you deserved it (44642)
On 07/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by henley -
Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19455) - you deserved it (1606)
On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17298) - you deserved it (1073)
On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17298) - you deserved it (1073)
On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14557) - you deserved it (3060)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States
Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14557) - you deserved it (3060)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States
Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14557) - you deserved it (3060)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States
Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14557) - you deserved it (3060)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28882) - you deserved it (1847)
On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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