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Offline (the 01/11/2016 at 6:33am)



  • Town/Country : Brampton, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4639
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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galactictoast13's page activity

Visits<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 5:21pm<b>Raveen</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:24pm<b>chickypie1987</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 6:54pm<b>FYLindeed432</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 11:16pm<b>Talis99</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:34pm<b>Arnelle</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:40am<b>killer1525</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 1:01am<b>styles829</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 12:08am<b>silverstar1995</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 1:03am<b>360momkeycrash</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 1:49am<b>kathstew</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:48am<b>kristyB1664</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:20pm<b>brasiliano</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 5:43pm<b>Grand_Cookie</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 12:29am<b>bubblooz</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 5:37pm<b>mfischer</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 3:15pm<b>crownlogic</b> - the 02/07/2012 at 4:00pm

galactictoast13's FML badges

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galactictoast13's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

by hfs palm / 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm / United States / Kids

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

by alanh69 / 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

by Anais Strongrump III Jr. / 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

by chinaski7628 / 02/15/2014 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I resigned from my job in favor of a higher-paying one. After I filled out and filed the necessary papers, my boss told me that I had been nominated to replace him when he retired in a month. His job pays at least twice what I'm now making. Thanks for telling me, asshat. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous