About gabriellemv : Lazy, mostly.
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gabriellemv's favorite FMLs
Today, I recently graduated from highschool and I went to a college party. I met these girls and told them I graduated college already, to sound cool. I then heard one of them say "I went to middle school with you, and I was in your math class." FML
by idiotwithaface / 09/23/2010 at 10:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone / 09/23/2010 at 7:01am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
by awesome / 09/21/2010 at 12:49am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/20/2010 at 10:33am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML
by whitefox123 / 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML
by Anonymous / 09/18/2010 at 9:57pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
by Anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by nickim756 / 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Me / 09/10/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 12:25am / United States (North Dakota) / Love
Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/05/2010 at 1:22am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals
Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car. Being 17, I didn't listen. As I was backing out the driveway, I was hit by an SUV, seriously damaging my moms car. Who was driving the SUV? My mom, coming home early. FML
by ohseven6421 / 09/03/2010 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Transportation
by anonymous.. / 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML
by shelbs61 / 08/30/2010 at 3:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by yggiz / 08/29/2010 at 1:02am / United States (Florida) / Health
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…