Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fyrtiosexarton

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

fyrtiosexarton

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2965
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About fyrtiosexarton : I fail all the time

fyrtiosexarton's page activity

Visits<b>Noah197099</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:31pm<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 5:02am<b>TinyAsianMan</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 4:36am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 6:01am<b>yginez</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 3:52pm<b>judkins_1808</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:30pm<b>ChewyODU</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:41am<b>boatiebanter</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 6:14pm<b>lizarddx0x0</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 7:10pm<b>Gabby_luvs_u</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 9:20pm<b>Pytt</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 2:56pm<b>dirkstarkiller</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 7:26pm<b>Holybatman</b> - the 06/18/2009 at 8:25pm<b>Fredzter</b> - the 06/18/2009 at 5:23pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 5:13pm

fyrtiosexarton's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of fyrtiosexarton's badges

fyrtiosexarton's favorite FMLs

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29474) - you deserved it (15393)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. I was the only one who put on sunblock, and the only one who got a sunburn. FML

#17237614
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29553) - you deserved it (3469)

On 07/24/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML

#17221659
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29674) - you deserved it (10546) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/22/2011 at 8:52pm - money - by zerom - France

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

#16499579
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13921) - you deserved it (41818)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44654) - you deserved it (5608)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

#14955015
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44004) - you deserved it (5959)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:32am - intimacy - by Eva - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up from sleeping at my friends house with a bunch of other people, with my waist long hair cut into chunks on my pillow. FML

#13624636
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33722) - you deserved it (4764)

On 10/28/2010 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

#13087587
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22987) - you deserved it (6571)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48850) - you deserved it (9602)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I went out for dinner with some friends to a new restaurant. As I was finishing the soup, I noticed a small curly hair at the bottom of the soup. The chef is bald. FML

#7967999
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27691) - you deserved it (2143)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39788) - you deserved it (3387)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

#7441309
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18322) - you deserved it (5521)

On 01/19/2010 at 6:18pm - intimacy - by kappaomicron (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

#7268268
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23031) - you deserved it (3976)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

#7268268
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23031) - you deserved it (3976)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML

#6848786
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8721) - you deserved it (47464)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: