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fyrtiosexarton

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2911
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About fyrtiosexarton : I fail all the time

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fyrtiosexarton's favorite FMLs

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

#18580798
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30434) - you deserved it (4059) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by anna - France

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10972) - you deserved it (87224)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10972) - you deserved it (87224)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, our school started an anti-bullying policy, and we watched a video about bullying. After the video, I told a teacher about a bullying case going on that I know about. His response? "Tell someone who cares" as he walked away chuckling. FML

#18400111
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32544) - you deserved it (3963)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML

#18392410
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39161) - you deserved it (5516)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:17am - love - by no low five (woman) - United States

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

#18069219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27469) - you deserved it (1862)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

#18069219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27469) - you deserved it (1862)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

#18043699
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16848) - you deserved it (47832)

On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14948) - you deserved it (30977)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML

#17682906
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24667) - you deserved it (6399)

On 09/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jag talar (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28411) - you deserved it (3036)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
673 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30082) - you deserved it (49087)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18762) - you deserved it (50936)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9099) - you deserved it (35551)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29431) - you deserved it (15387)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



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