About fyrtiosexarton : I fail all the time
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Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (66069)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, our school started an anti-bullying policy, and we watched a video about bullying. After the video, I told a teacher about a bullying case going on that I know about. His response? "Tell someone who cares" as he walked away chuckling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26485) - you deserved it (2880)
On 12/01/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32935) - you deserved it (4315)
On 11/30/2011 at 6:17am - love - by no low five (woman) - United States
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (1271)
On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (1271)
On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14397) - you deserved it (42712)
On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12726) - you deserved it (27017)
On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19479) - you deserved it (4851)
On 09/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jag talar (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22925) - you deserved it (2208)
On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (36777)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14711) - you deserved it (36637)
On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7068) - you deserved it (24547)
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24102) - you deserved it (11433)
On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. I was the only one who put on sunblock, and the only one who got a sunburn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24861) - you deserved it (2539)
On 07/24/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Username - United States (California)
Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (8011) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Monday 20 May 2013
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