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Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44095) - you deserved it (9431)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64392) - you deserved it (5328)
On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)
Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21404) - you deserved it (43234)
On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43964) - you deserved it (5669)
On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51104) - you deserved it (5565)
On 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31995) - you deserved it (13802)
On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States
Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32850) - you deserved it (3469)
On 03/23/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24723) - you deserved it (19930)
On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10520) - you deserved it (22842)
On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States
Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26503) - you deserved it (2770)
On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (1548)
On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48138) - you deserved it (1980)
On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12709) - you deserved it (12709)
On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21222) - you deserved it (1465)
On 09/17/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by twinkletoes (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22542) - you deserved it (3170)
On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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