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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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fuzion50

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fuzion50
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 346
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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fuzion50's favorite FMLs

Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML

#15447390 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (9988) - you deserved it (2739)

On 03/23/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by EllieJ -

Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML

#15441546 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (8626) - you deserved it (29351)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (4383)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

#15399949 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (37195) - you deserved it (2786)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at 21 years of age, my doctor confirmed that I am, indeed, going bald. It wouldn't be such a bad thing, even expected, if I wasn't a woman. FML

#15385853 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (32243) - you deserved it (2167)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:13pm - health - by Jessica - Romania (Neamt)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254 (299)

I agree, your life sucks (25765) - you deserved it (2611)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

#11542106 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (22210) - you deserved it (17739)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

#10842466 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (19474) - you deserved it (6221)

On 05/29/2010 at 2:20pm - health - by asstomouth - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

#7870282 (282)

I agree, your life sucks (18245) - you deserved it (5516)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

#7103612 (37)

I agree, your life sucks (8794) - you deserved it (2406)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by uhhggggg - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took a trip to Wal-Mart. There's a car wash that they conveniently built right outside of this Wal-Mart. So as I was leaving, I decided to make use of this car wash, not even thinking about the $200 worth of groceries I had just purchased. I drive a pick-up truck. FML

#6022532 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (5234) - you deserved it (44620)

On 10/27/2009 at 11:36am - misc - by dave (man) - United States

Today, I spoke to my dad for the first time in over a year. I've been volunteering in Mongolia, I have no running water, freeze my ass off everyday and communication with anyone who speaks English is scarce. One of the first things my father said to me was, "out of sight, out of mind." FML

#5183635 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (24068) - you deserved it (2179)

On 09/11/2009 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Mongolia (Ulaanbaatar)

Today, I was talking to my guy friend on the phone. He said, "You sound depressed, I should cheer you up and give you a big hug." Jokingly, I responded, "You wouldn't hug something as gross as me." His response? "You'd be surprised." FML

#4174665 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (9820) - you deserved it (28398)

On 07/31/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by Girafarig (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML

#4103761 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (33696) - you deserved it (12536)

On 07/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by BigPurplePresent (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

#3890479 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (35035) - you deserved it (13495)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)