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Today, I found out where all my expensive bras and panties have been disappearing to. Apparently, while I'm at work, my fifteen year-old son's girlfriend has been stealing them after they have sex in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17186) - you deserved it (2101)
On 12/21/2009 at 10:28pm - intimacy - by Secretisout (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33331) - you deserved it (2349)
On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52225) - you deserved it (3119)
On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5385) - you deserved it (18881)
On 11/02/2009 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by konichiwa (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year broke up with me. Completely crushed, I spent an hour gathering up everything he ever gave me. Then he calls back to say how stupid he was and how he wanted me back. I was ecstatic. An hour later he figured out he was okay with his first decision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33495) - you deserved it (3585)
On 10/25/2009 at 3:19pm - love - by rollercoaster (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said I remind her of her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63714) - you deserved it (5113)
On 08/06/2009 at 10:03pm - love - by Jeremy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67131) - you deserved it (13976)
On 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by onething (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was completely wasted at my bachelor party, and my friends thought it would be funny to put sodium nitrate on my penis. Sodium nitrate makes your skin dark purple for a couple of weeks. My wedding is next week and my fiancee has never seen me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57869) - you deserved it (16768)
On 07/02/2009 at 2:32am - intimacy - by purpledick (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today, my boyfriend who has been overseas the last four months broke up with me. I sent him a care package two days ago. He'll get homemade cookies (his mom's recipe), naughty videos of me and a letter telling him how much I love him in about a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63078) - you deserved it (4637)
On 05/14/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by bettycrocker (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56464) - you deserved it (33035)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (124867) - you deserved it (18340)
On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21201) - you deserved it (48407)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33004) - you deserved it (67857)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35070) - you deserved it (206744)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (361488) - you deserved it (67425)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 17 June 2013
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