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Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31849) - you deserved it (9878)
On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22183) - you deserved it (25380) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22383) - you deserved it (6489)
On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)
Today, I had sex with a juggalo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12011) - you deserved it (40727)
On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15776) - you deserved it (32147)
On 04/23/2011 at 4:18pm - intimacy - by purrykitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (10023)
On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14052) - you deserved it (64599)
On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my fiancé and I had a fight over household expenses. He's never had a job in his life, but this didn't stop him demanding that I get another full-time job to pay for video games and beer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20637) - you deserved it (47300)
On 03/02/2011 at 6:21pm - money - by me - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized it feels better when I sneeze than when my boyfriend and I have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (4064)
On 02/26/2011 at 7:18am - intimacy - by horriblegf - United States
Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6833) - you deserved it (64020)
On 02/11/2011 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Zibby -
Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33050) - you deserved it (2115)
On 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22745) - you deserved it (3774)
On 08/16/2010 at 1:03am - love - by 86145 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28398) - you deserved it (10083)
On 07/29/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Sunshine.0.ninja - United States (Ohio)
Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5843) - you deserved it (17715)
On 01/26/2010 at 3:59am - intimacy - by sexyfail (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7181) - you deserved it (23822)
On 01/17/2010 at 7:57pm - love - by IceMage (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Monday 20 May 2013
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