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frutoish

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frutoish

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 694
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About frutoish : Just find me on Facebook if you wanna be friends :) follow me on twitter as @frutoishAR

frutoish's page activity

Visits<b>Usuario</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 6:22pm<b>br1015</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 9:04am<b>dinosaurfeet</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 12:57pm

frutoish's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

frutoish's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55711) - you deserved it (8561)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

#2919658
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (45780)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by kitkat545 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81984) - you deserved it (217373)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (259284) - you deserved it (17187)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35614) - you deserved it (302759)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (403058) - you deserved it (66637)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

#694537
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86155) - you deserved it (34385)

On 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm - intimacy - by Cynical (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197102) - you deserved it (31427)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239458) - you deserved it (31621)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

#400298
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45520) - you deserved it (238652)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
517 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53642) - you deserved it (310402)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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